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My Gripe On…people who try too hard.

This won’t be an incredibly lengthy rant cause I know I could go ON about this. I have come across a lot of people in my life, and even more so when I got to college 4 years ago. I have always acted how I have wanted to act. In that I lived in a neighborhood where all the black kids were ‘ghetto’ and listened to rap etc. Now, to each their own I suppose. But, I have never EVER cared for that type of lifestyle. I have always been ‘picked on’ (not that I cared) by the other black kids for not being “black enough”…whatever that means. I guess because I wasn’t into rap, didn’t talk the way they talked and like the things they liked. I was always into rock/metal etc, shopped at Hot Topic and such stores, dressed punk/goth, been into sciency nerdy stuff and video games. Those sort of things. But, despite being alienated from my peers, I rather enjoy being the “me” that I am. I like being that “weird” kid that they avoided. It was much easier being myself when I got to college. Mainly because I had the money to buy my own things and didn’t have to try to negotiate with my mother…

Once at college, things kind of just went all over the place. I pierced and tattooed myself into a happy oblivion πŸ˜› My closet is a happy little black hole of band t’s, tripp pants, and converse…just as I like it. I appreciate those who aren’t afraid to be themselves. What I DON’T appreciate…are people who purposely try to stand out so they can look “cool”. I have met people who were one way when I met them…and then just totally change to be more like the people they want to hang out with. It makes no sense to me. I was friends with a person like that. She was one way when I met her and I liked her as she was. But she always tried too hard. Whenever I was hanging out with another friend (one in which had a lot in common with me), she would always try to change her opinion or appearance to appeal to us better. It got worse within the last year of knowing her. Whereas before she was more modest…NOW she wants to be “hard core” (as she calls it, but she never has the balls to go through with half the shit she claims she wants to do), always has to show off when she gets something newly pierced…which so far is just her ear…and her nose (which she got a stud in cause she was too scared to get a hoop).

If that was what she was into, that would be fine. But she’s always looking to me or someone for validation that we think it’s cool that she did that. Yet, to be frank, nobody gives a god damn. I like to get my piercings and tattoos for myself. I don’t go around intentionally letting the ENTIRE WORLD know that I got something done. It’s just normal for me. I’ve had piercings for awhile anyway. I have snake bites, and my nostril pierced with a hoop in it. I also have 6 hoops in my ear, and an industrial. I also have 3, going on 4, tattoos. These are things that I like. It’s my style and I don’t need to have anyone validate me.

I find it sad that she and some other people I have met feel that they can’t be themselves. It’s not even just that. I knew she was never a drinker. Granted, I am not the biggest partier ever. Before I got ill and became disabled (for the time being), I’d go out maybe…twice a month with friends. If i drank but didn’t go out, we’d just chill at my place. But I was never a crazy partier. She had always harped on how she wasn’t going to drink when she turned 21 and almost acted like she was superior to the rest of us who did drink (even though we were of age). Yet, when sheΒ  DID turn 21 she was asking if I could hang with her so she could get drunk…BUT didn’t want her other friends to know she drank. That seems a bit off to me. I wasn’t going to have anything to do with that. I just wish she’d just let it go and just be herself. There is nothing wrong with being yourself. Even if that means being a “loser” or a “nerd”. So…that’s my rant/gripe of the week. Don’t mind me lol

Me…and the boy. This was before I got the rest of my facial piercings. lol Outside of my dorm ❀

I’ll be the best loser-nerd-gamer-punk-goth-whatever-oreo-nonblackperson I can be…and leave it at that. Enough Said.


Stumble Upon Wed: Past Life Analysis

So I think I found something kinda cool from stumble upon called “Past Life Analysis”. Granted, it’s nothing real or factual about it. But I do think things like that are fun to think about and play around with. My ‘analysis’ was actually pretty spot on to who i am today…which I found out. And I did go into this not really thinking much of it, other than it just being something silly. So, if you want you can give it a go and see what you end up with. It’s kinda fun, if you let it be.

My Analysis: (figured I’d post it…those who know me in real life when attest to it sounding just like me)

Your past life diagnosis:

I don’t know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Israel around the year 1400. Your profession was that of a seaman, dealer, businessman or broker.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your task is to learn, to love and to trust the universe. You are bound to think, study, reflect, and to develop inner wisdom.


So yeah. Here is the link to the site. I hope you all enjoy!

Past Life Analysis

Oh. And Bro Tip of the Day: Talent is Natural, excellence is a choice.

If you end up doing the analysis and get something cool, feel free to post your results

Au Revoir~

Complete and Total Chaos (The Quick Version)

Ok. So I spent an immense amount of time typing up an update and hit the wrong button and all of it got deleted…SO, I am going to do this AGAIN but in a more condensed version because I am not about to spend another 30 minutes re-writing everything.

Ok. The pros and cons of the past 9 months


1. I have polymyositis: a chronic inflammatory muscle disease. Due to that I am temporarily disabled and in a wheelchair until I can get my muscle strength back. It sucks.

2. I live in a crazy nursing facility. The workers aren’t bad, it’s just the residents gets on my fucking nerves. Basically.

3. My mom died in the midst of all this insanity. I miss her a lot…

4. It’s taking a lot longer than I’d like to rebuild my muscle strength back. I’ve been patient but…come ON.

5. I am terribly nervous and intimidated about going back to school in my….new disabled condition. Granted, I don’t physically LOOK sick…but you can tell somethings wrong once I try to do something like…raise my arms above my head (can’t do still) or…if you watched me get out of bed..or try to raise my legs up high. Things like that. Those things still give me trouble.

6. I can probably kiss my marching band career goodbye. Bummer…

Pros!: Something Positive, yay!

1. I still have my awesome boyfriend of 6 years AND he is visiting me in April ❀ While all the people who had shit to say about my relationship are “surprisingly” single (still) πŸ™‚

2. I’m still fucking cool as shit.

3. I AM going back to school in January and can kind of have a life back. Even if it’s a bit different.

4. I have the best bestie in the entire world.

5. I can at least try to be apart of the marching band, even if i Can’t perform

6. My mom left everything to me…so at least I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to take care of myself.

7. I started Knitting and I have been making all types of awesome things. I should post pics…I think I will.

So. I’d say that the good out-weighs the bad in this instance…or at least that’s how I choose to see it. Dunno. In terms of restarting this blog….I will continue to post things related to music (duh) and funny/cool stuff I find on the awesome world wide web, things related to games, random shit AND my knitting stuff. Till then. ❀

Interesting Shit of the Day

So. This is another installment of cool stuff I’ve come across on my internet travels that might be of interest. πŸ™‚ Enjoy. Feel free to check out the stuff I link. I try to have a variety of things…if Not…feel free to let me know what you’d rather see.

1. This is pretty nifty if you like to travel. I never get to travel but I have plans of traveling within the year or so. This is Wanderfly! It’s a nice little application/site of sort that finds places around the world for you to go based on how much money you’re able to spend, how many days and activities you’re interested it. It’ll give you places you can go, things there to do, and average prices for airline tickets, etc. I tinkered with it just cause and it was pretty cool. Worth looking into.

2. This site I discovered after I read the book. Passive Aggressive notes is just a book full of real life examples of people being passive aggressive. Some of the stuff on their is hilarious. This website has most from the book, and more that didn’t make it into the book. A lot of it is things regarding room mates, parking spots, etc. If you like reading notes/signs with a shit ton of wit and hilarity, I’d highly recommend going through the site.

3. Something a bit random lol I like Greek Mythology and this site explores various aspects of greek mythology. If anyone is into that sort of thing.

4. 133 Quote It: where you can find just about any qoute about pretty much anything. It’s fun πŸ™‚

5. %253Ftype%253 A wall of Rock Music? Brilliance, nothing else needs to be said.