My Gripe On…people who try too hard.

This won’t be an incredibly lengthy rant cause I know I could go ON about this. I have come across a lot of people in my life, and even more so when I got to college 4 years ago. I have always acted how I have wanted to act. In that I lived in a neighborhood where all the black kids were ‘ghetto’ and listened to rap etc. Now, to each their own I suppose. But, I have never EVER cared for that type of lifestyle. I have always been ‘picked on’ (not that I cared) by the other black kids for not being “black enough”…whatever that means. I guess because I wasn’t into rap, didn’t talk the way they talked and like the things they liked. I was always into rock/metal etc, shopped at Hot Topic and such stores, dressed punk/goth, been into sciency nerdy stuff and video games. Those sort of things. But, despite being alienated from my peers, I rather enjoy being the “me” that I am. I like being that “weird” kid that they avoided. It was much easier being myself when I got to college. Mainly because I had the money to buy my own things and didn’t have to try to negotiate with my mother…

Once at college, things kind of just went all over the place. I pierced and tattooed myself into a happy oblivion 😛 My closet is a happy little black hole of band t’s, tripp pants, and converse…just as I like it. I appreciate those who aren’t afraid to be themselves. What I DON’T appreciate…are people who purposely try to stand out so they can look “cool”. I have met people who were one way when I met them…and then just totally change to be more like the people they want to hang out with. It makes no sense to me. I was friends with a person like that. She was one way when I met her and I liked her as she was. But she always tried too hard. Whenever I was hanging out with another friend (one in which had a lot in common with me), she would always try to change her opinion or appearance to appeal to us better. It got worse within the last year of knowing her. Whereas before she was more modest…NOW she wants to be “hard core” (as she calls it, but she never has the balls to go through with half the shit she claims she wants to do), always has to show off when she gets something newly pierced…which so far is just her ear…and her nose (which she got a stud in cause she was too scared to get a hoop).

If that was what she was into, that would be fine. But she’s always looking to me or someone for validation that we think it’s cool that she did that. Yet, to be frank, nobody gives a god damn. I like to get my piercings and tattoos for myself. I don’t go around intentionally letting the ENTIRE WORLD know that I got something done. It’s just normal for me. I’ve had piercings for awhile anyway. I have snake bites, and my nostril pierced with a hoop in it. I also have 6 hoops in my ear, and an industrial. I also have 3, going on 4, tattoos. These are things that I like. It’s my style and I don’t need to have anyone validate me.

I find it sad that she and some other people I have met feel that they can’t be themselves. It’s not even just that. I knew she was never a drinker. Granted, I am not the biggest partier ever. Before I got ill and became disabled (for the time being), I’d go out maybe…twice a month with friends. If i drank but didn’t go out, we’d just chill at my place. But I was never a crazy partier. She had always harped on how she wasn’t going to drink when she turned 21 and almost acted like she was superior to the rest of us who did drink (even though we were of age). Yet, when she  DID turn 21 she was asking if I could hang with her so she could get drunk…BUT didn’t want her other friends to know she drank. That seems a bit off to me. I wasn’t going to have anything to do with that. I just wish she’d just let it go and just be herself. There is nothing wrong with being yourself. Even if that means being a “loser” or a “nerd”. So…that’s my rant/gripe of the week. Don’t mind me lol

Me…and the boy. This was before I got the rest of my facial piercings. lol Outside of my dorm ❤

I’ll be the best loser-nerd-gamer-punk-goth-whatever-oreo-nonblackperson I can be…and leave it at that. Enough Said.